Get inspired, get wise, be YOU. You can do this. Just read a bit...
DO THIS, DO THAT, TRY HARDER, GET SERIOUS, SET HIGHER GOALS
...do any of these sound familiar?
Of course it's important to strive for success, and to capitalize on your strengths, but sometimes we are pushed too hard and the success comes at the expense of our emotional wellness.
So what do you do when the pressure gets to be too much and you feel you can't DO another thing?
Being means to stop doing, and just sit still. Don't try. Just allow things to go forward at their own pace. Ironically, this moment of breathing or relaxing is often all we need to lift out of our "frozen state" and start moving again.
How to "be?"
Try walking around the block or campus and noticing how the air smells. Try closing your eyes and imagining yourself on the beach in Hawaii with the waves lapping at the shore. Try sitting still on the floor and letting your mind go blank. Or, you could even try closing your eyes and smiling (this is my FAVORITE).
Whatever your choice for being, the main thing is to STOP what you are DOING and just enjoy being alive for one moment.
Need help being without feeling like you are being lazy or losing your drive? Try a 1-on-1 session with me, read that chapter in Guru-YOU! Remove Your Doubts: Find Your Purpose Passion & Power or check out more of my "Inspirations" here on the Blog.
I Love Who You Are, Not What You Do. Just Sayin' ;)
Love & Light,
This is the final step in your Mental Makeover:
Close Your Eyes & SMILE
The truth is, the easiest way to change your mental state and clear out your head is to close your eyes and smile. This is how they meditate in Bali. In the book Eat Pray Love, author Elizabeth Gilbert learns this from a Balinese Medicine Man. He says "Close your eyes and smile. Smile even in your liver." No reason, just feel the sun on your face and smile. Breathe and feeeeeel the peace.
It really is that simple.
So, either close your eyes and smile for a while, or pick another centering activity and do it. Take at least 20 minutes. Focus on quieting your mind, allowing all thoughts (good or bad) to just float away. If you'd like, you can do a guided meditation with me or download one from www.prohypnosis.com. Any time you get mentally muddled, do this.
When you are finished centering, write in your journal for at least 10 minutes. Keep writing no matter what. Even if you've finished describing your experience after 2 minutes just keep writing anything that comes to your mind. Sometimes you'll just be writing "I don't know what to write" for a minute but then it will start flowing out of you.
You can also draw if that is more "you." But the same rules apply...keep drawing about your experience for the full ten minutes. And remember to laugh and have FUN with this, okay??
You'll be amazed at how much you enjoy it and what wisdom comes out of you afterwords.
Ready, Set, GO!
And that brings us to the end of your Mental Makeover. Now that you have some tools to center yourself, you'll want to get used to using them.
Need help with your mental makeover? Just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I can work with you on this--and make it FUN!
Also, if you want to delve deeper into your Mental, Emotional, Physical, Spiritual Self, or Relationships, I have online interactive mini-workshops for that. Just email email@example.com for more information on how they work, or let me know you'd like to get started. They are $25 a piece and come with a free email session to clarify any questions you have as you make choices and move through the self-guided and personalized online workshop.
Love & Light, and Congratulations on your Mental Makeover!
This is the fourth in a multi-step series to help you enjoy a Mental Makeover!
AWAKEN TO JOYFULNESSES
What is it? What is "IT"? Think it over, and figure out how to appreciate it. If you can't find the joy in a thought, stop thinking about it.
How do you do this? Instead, think about something else that inevitably makes you happy-or even better, go do something that makes you happy. The joy will come if you let it.
I'm not sure who ingrained in us we should be heavy-hearted and saddened by everything different that comes our way, but whoever it was, they need to be flogged with a wet noodle pronto (there's a great song by "Bowling For Soup" called "I'm Gay" :) You might wanna listen to that right now!).
Find the joyfulnesses and enJOY them. It can be scary to just suddenly be HAPPY because people might think you're nuttier than a fruitcake. But they won't. I promise no one will look down on you or be shocked at you for doing so. If they are, you send them to ME!!!
Seriously, joy is good...eventually people will get used to and even ENjoy the new, happier you! Plus, you'll begin drawing more positive people to you, which will in turn cause you to feel even better! Isn't THAT a brilliant upward spiral provided by the Universe??
Sometimes, in order to start seeing the good stuff, we need to completely clear out, mentally. If you've been reading this series, you see your patterns and why you're thinking negatively. Now, how in the heck do we get our minds to be quiet?
Here are my five favorite ways:
You can wander around the "free" section of my old website (www.humansparklers.com) to pick up on some of these tools and find resources. If you are feeling you need more guidance, email me and ask for help! I offer the first three methods with us (either you can come here or we can work with you over the computer or phone).
The fourth method, Music/Dance works best for Musical and Bodily/Kinesthetic learners. If this sounds like you, we recommend attending a Gabrielle Roth workshop or school. Go to her website www.gabrielleroth.com to see what we mean (look at the 5 rhythms).
Finally, some people feel completely cleared out mentally after they play a sports game or run a long distance. If this is you, there's no time like the present to get started!! Check out CTR hosts who focus on fitness like Tracey Mallett to get started!
There is also an archived radio show on "Breathing and Slowing Down" that might help, plus a lot of chapters in my book give ideas for how to Let go and ENJOY!
and finally…the last step in your Mental Makeover...
This is the third in a multi-step series to help you enjoy a Mental Makeover!
Part of taking responsibility for yourself, your life events, and your thoughts, means letting go of the drama.
I know, we cling to it like a puppy clings to its mama, but it serves us no purpose. The entertainment value isn't even worth it, because when you are YOU and creating your own life, you will be constantly entertained and fulfilled within yourself, without needing others, and without any drama.
I know things happen and we feel a responsibility to be affected by them (Bob died and we should be really depressed for at least a week, shouldn't we?). However, we always have a choice on how long we continue to hold a mental reaction to something.
My grandmother Mimi died over ten years ago, and I still miss her every day as much as I did then. However, what I really miss is the joy her attitude brought me, so instead of focusing on the missing, I focus on her attitude and I end up giggling hysterically. I am not happy she's gone, I am happy she was 100% HER and her energy is still just as it was, whether it comes from her body or her spirit, and I am choosing to celebrate that spirit instead of grieving over the loss of that body.
So, it doesn't end up that your feelings make you--your focus makes you.
Letting go of drama means refocusing our inner magnifying glass to what works for us. If being sad and overwhelmed feels yucky, then that's drama you don't need. Choosing to focus on what you like (joy, kindness, your puppy, silly movies, camping, great music, knitting, or whatever) will instantly stop feeding the drama addiction and start feeding your health. When it's not fed, the drama becomes deflated and weak, and then disappears altogether.
For more on this, try my chapter on "Letting Go" in my book and the radio show archived by the same title (iTunes or www.ctrhotspot.com Host: Me, scroll down for archives).
Step 4 is next...
This is the second in a multi-step series to help you enjoy a Mental Makeover!
Be Gentle With Yourself.
The next step to clearing out your mind is to take responsibility for our own mental state. Notice I did not say "kick yourself in the head if you're messed up." I advocate being very kind and gentle with yourself. I mean, you really have done the very best you could with the information you've had at each time in your life, haven't you?
So, be nice to yourself, and at the very worst, go ahead and laugh at yourself a bit when you realize how many times you've done the same thing. After that, agree that you officially have the power and ability and resources to change your mental state as much as you need to in order to be happy.
Let's take an example. Let's say you are horribly depressed. You are spiraling down and you don't see how you are worth pulling out or how you'd even do it if you could. I understand, I've been there. Now, in cases like this, you may not be able to handle it on your own. You might need to go to a doctor and get medicine to help you out, you might need a mentor, or some other kind of help.
Once you have asked for help (and accepted it in a form that feels like it will work for you), you can enjoy your upward spiral for a moment. Then, accept that you now are the only one who can make the choice to be happy and clear and balanced mentally. And it is just that...a choice.
I hear that women who have had children say they wanted natural childbirth but then hated labor...so they got an epidural for their next child and were able to really enjoy labor and delivery. This is an example of how there are different ways to have a good experience.
Try not to be so "down" on certain medicinal or other types of help at times when you feel you need them...be so thankful for all your available healing options when you just can't do it fully from within.
Next Step: Letting Go of Your Drama
This is the first in a multi-step series to help you enjoy a Mental Makeover!
Let's talk about your mind. Let me guess. It's almost always buzzing with crazy amounts of information, thoughts, ideas, worries, especially when you are going to sleep.
The other half of the time, it goes completely blank and you feel like a void or a shadow and the only thing you know for sure is that you know absolutely nothing. It's okay. You are not the only one :).
Good news is, there is hope, help, and many ways to end the madness.
Or, some of you could be on a roll, mentally, and feeling clear and organized. In this case you'll want to check out your "goodness" and then we can take the smart stuff you've done with your mind and apply it to the other areas of your life. So, let's get going...first we need to be really clear.
MM STEP 1:
To get a good idea of where you are going, you must now where you are now. Answer these questions honestly and completely, without judging yourself as you do.
What is your mental state now? Be specific.
Write down 10 adjectives describing how it feels to live in your head.
Once you've done that, write down why it's like that.
Who do you need to forgive? Yourself? Others?
What is preventing you from being positive and healthy mentally?
Now observe (without judgment or blame) if you are exhibiting a "victim" attitude mentally (if everything is someone else's fault or due to a circumstance outside of you) or if you are being too hard on yourself. Maybe you are really healthy and positive with your thoughts right now? Just notice what your patterns are mentally.
The act of noticing (in essence making something tangible or measurable) literally causes it to begin to improve. The key is, you want to notice root causes, not effects. Then, watch yourself naturally Mend Your Mind!
Continue Reading the Next Entry for Step 2...
Life is more than our common acceptance of the term “life.” We think of life as just the idea of being alive on this planet. But it transcends that. It is our essence. Our energy. Which precedes us and goes beyond us and past us. Life far exceeds that. Energy and Essence are the ultimate Truth...the melding of ourselves and God. Life is what we know--what we feel outside of our senses and our ability to prove. Doctors cannot even prove definitively when life begins (at conception? at birth?) or when it ends (brain stops? heart stops? breathing stops?)...so why do we cling to that definition?
Life is more than a body--more than an animation and something the 5 senses can perceive. A person’s or animal’s lifetime is an illusion because it is barely one expression of who they truly are. Their existence is one color of a vivid rainbow of being. We know birds can see many more colors than humans. So when will we realize this factor is exponential and universal in application? The colors are infinite and we can perceive more and more of them as we so choose. It is just that we are comfortable with stopping at the beauty of a rainbow. It’s not just that our memory of someone or their accomplishments or their energy continues in our minds after their body dies but that they actually continue.
Most of us shut this off because earthlings haven’t proven it to some arbitrary scientific standard yet. And I love science. But all science does is take years to prove what we knew somehow deep down long before.
So what do you know? Who are you if you are more than one lifetime (or many) on earth? What is the seeming impossibility in your world today that will become the standard for you tomorrow? It’s not your legacy. It’s not your body. It’s simply you. Whether you are a dog, a man, a girl, or a child...you simply are. You are energy. Never to be created or destroyed, except as if God were the Sun and you, a sun-ray, would be created or destroyed. Your lifetime is just a small part of your Life (notice the capital L).
Recognizing your incredible staying power, what will you do now? Trust me when I say, Life is way bigger than us, here, now. And, us, here, now is WAY bigger than a life.
Lately I've had a lot of clients coming to me saying they just feel stuck. Stuck in a relationship, Stuck in a job, Stuck in a location, Stuck in being someone they aren't. And it's got to be THE most ANNOYING and FRUSTRATING thing to be in the whole world--to be Stuck.
However, you're in LUCK! Guru-YOU! can help you get UNstuck.
1. Stop thinking about being stuck for 2-3 days. If needed, pick something else to think about when you revert to agonizing over being stuck (like the Olympics, or developing new breeds of dogs, or where you'd like to travel).
2. Once you've broken the broken record in your head, allow your mind to be quiet and listen for one week. Need help with this? Go to my archives (iTunes or click here) and check out my December 28 2009 radio show on CTR on Listening. Or, read the chapter on Listening in my first book, Guru-YOU! Remove Your Doubts: Find Your Purpose Passion & Power.
Begin writing down all the things you notice when you are listening (a leaf falling, the kindness in someone's voice, an old man fishing, new colors you hadn't seen before, a job that looks fun).
3. On a big sheet of paper, write the things that felt really significant to you in your week of listening. Draw lines between the ones that are connected and notice what they have in common. Just observing the new ideas, the different thoughts, and the commonality between ideas that enthrall you will jolt you out of your rut and get you UNstuck!
Once you have your mind free-flowing again, you can begin to follow your new ideas, your love of something (rather than your boredom with the previous thing), and your passion.
The best part is how FUN freeing your mind can be.
Need more help getting unstuck or learning how to re-wire your brain for freedom? Just email to get started on a BrainSUNSHINE Session with me, an individualized Creative Workshop, or your very own Mind Evolution System.
Brainstorming helps you discover the wisdom you have hidden within. The best brainstorm utilizes fun methodologies that always produce awesome solutions. However, the idea of a storm is a little scary for most. That's why Guru-YOU! is switching to BrainSUNSHINE!
The key to a great brainSUNSHINE session is to recognize that ALL your ideas are worth loving :) The only way to understand this fully is to do an actual session. So:
Get a pad of sticky notes. Write down a problem for which you need a solution on one sticky note and put it on the wall. Then, start writing on other notes ANYTHING that comes into your head. Write down EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT no matter how silly or stupid it seems (because sometimes it's the silly thought that gives you the brilliant idea).
Sometimes, you might leave the stack of stickies by your wall and every time you walk by you put up a couple more ideas. You'll find yourself rushing into that room at random times to put up a few more inspirations!
Once you feel you have put all your suggestions up there, take a look at your wall. Move the stickies around and see if your solution shines through! More often than not, it's a small word or thought that spurs you to an idea worth loving!
The biggest roadblock people have to brainstorming (or finding solutions) is that they judge the ideas as "good" or "bad" before they put them on the SUNSHINE wall. This blocks creativity (gets our defenses/walls up) and keeps us from being open to that moment of brilliance when it happens!
Love EVERYthing you put down no matter what until it's allll up there. Also, if you do this process with someone else, make sure they know the rule about not judging until AFTER all the ideas are up.
Once you have a big wall full of ideas or thoughts, then you can move the stickies into categories of "Would Work," "Might Work," and "Too Much Work" or any set of groups you choose. Just remember not to limit yourself with negative thinking!
Oh, and the #1 rule of brainSUNSHINEing? HAVE FUN!
Need a facilitator? Try my Idea SUNSHINE session and find the answers you seek! I'm offering 25% off for CTR Newsletter readers (regular price is $125), so subscribe now at http://www.ctrhotspot.com and email me that you did.
Or, if you need more in depth work on figuring out how your brain works and how to be creative, I'd love to work with you on your very own Creative Workshop! I'll help you, step-by-step, figure out how access the creative wisdom hiding in your brain. Just email me to get started on your Creative Workshop.
Want to change your day?
Change your friends' attitudes?
Change your teacher's reaction to you?
Have a better relationship?
One word answer:
Don't believe me? Even in your worst mood, go in a store, restaurant, or coffee shop and smile the whole time. Watch serious, brooding, short-tempered patrons, baristas and waitresses turn that frown upside down, all because of you. It's true, however silly it seems--maybe all it takes to make that friend or get that better grade is a simple smile.
And you can get extra points if you add a moose hat. ↗
Want to help others smile? Email me your smiling pictures!!
Need help smiling? Try a 1-on-1 session with me, check out my radio show and some of my other "Inspirations."
Call in with questions during the show, or email ahead of time with what you'd like to hear!!